Matrix Revolutions my arse

I watched Matrix Revolutions yesterday. What a pile of shit.

I first saw it when it came out, and I think I thought it was a pile of shit then too, but now it’s an even bigger pile of shit.

The most annoying thing about all the Matrix films is that the action is a little bit too slow. I don’t mean the Bullet Time action, obviously, but just the general action.

When Morpheus, Trinity and that Asian guy have that fight scene with the Frenchman’s guards, it’s painfully obvious.

The first guard raises his gun to shoot the Asian guy, and about two-thirds of a second later the Asian guy’s leg comes round and kicks it down.

Sorry, two-thirds of a second is too long. These people are all supposedly elite. It should go: “GunraisedBLAM,” like that. Not “GunraisedpauseKICKEDAWAY.”

Later, Trinity does her cool spinny thing, which is really impressive and awesome, and something I wish I could do.

But even though her limbs are spinning round and confusing the enemy, her torso is staying in one place — a nice big unmoving target.

Surely a ineffective form of evasive action?

Trinity’s Karate Kid-style crane kick is also cool, but instead of kicking the oke in the face, like they do in Karate Kid, she kicks him in the chest. What a cop out.

This left me deeply unsatisfied.

And don’t even get me started on the fact that because of this film no reading of the trinity as a whole can be both logical and interesting. What a sell-out from parts one and two.

And the dialogue, oh my god the dialogue.

I’m not a big Matrix fan, even though I did like the first one, but I reckon the only way anyone would think Revolutions is a cool film is if they are subconsiously thinking of the first one; some kind of Wachowski tranference.

Author: ProjectJennifer

Project Jennifer was one of the most complex, expensive, and secretive intelligence operations of the Cold War at a cost of about $800 million ($3.6 billion in 2012 dollars).

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